I never truly grasped the beauty of a steaming hot shower until I went three days with a broken water heater. I also didn’t realize how hopelessly miserable an ice cold shower is until I found myself crying because of it. It kinda felt like being overcome by dementors; it was a chill that not only wiped away my body heat, but my happiness.
I forgot that gentlemen existed in the world
It’s as if I have been searching for something for weeks. I didn’t even know that I had been looking for it until I was reminded of what I already have. Or maybe it’s more like the homemade bowl of soup that I had been apart from for so long that I forgot how amazing it tasted. Okay, it is like I have had a hole inside of me for weeks, but I didn’t know it was there until a whole lot of love was poured back into me. One is silver and the other gold
Sometimes it feels like this life isn’t real; as if I am living in a dream, or a shadow, or a dream of a dream. Then I remember I am made to be in the world, but not of the world. It’s in those out-of-body moments when I am reminded that I am meant to live in a Kingdom where the streets are paved in gold and the air is thick with a love that never ends. It’s hard to imagine that all the beauty this world encompasses is only an imitation of what lies ahead.
I think one of the greatest feelings is when one of my blurred visions is organized down to three topics umbrella-ed under a beautiful thesis.
“Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea’, and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
do not go walking through the rose garden barefoot because you will step in a thorn, specifically if it is tuesday
is the worst day of the week. Tuesday is the day for heavy sighs and playing Taylor Swift so I can wallow in my self pity. Tuesday is the day for punching walls and screaming into pillows and falling onto the ground in hopelessness. Tuesday is the day to melt into a puddle as my body is dissolved in sulfuric acid. TUESDAY is just an all around horrible day.
How can I make a person the center of my life when I am so young? Imagine giving someone else’s husband that much of yourself. I need to cement myself in God before I can give myself to anyone else. How could I put God at the center of a relationship if He isn’t at the center of my life. Sometimes, we have to distance ourselves from people so that we can ground ourselves in faith. It may sound selfish, but we have to be selfish for God or we will get lost in others. Having that strong foundation and solid priorities are the most important things, and I can’t go into a relationship without them.
I was totally blessed with beautiful ladies to live with
I miss falling onto my best friends’ shoulders, shamelessly grabbing their hand, or pressing my cheek against theirs. I miss being embraced. I have received and given hugs here at Scripps, but they’re not sincere. I miss the kind of hug where you can feel a second heart beating alongside yours; the kind of hug where you melt into their arms or burrow into their neck and never want to let go. Tonight, all I needed was a shoulder to lean on —a hug to make me feel safe —but all my shoulders are miles away.
The freshman *oops I mean first-year* 15 are way too easy to gain because of the never ending amounts of chocolate.
After eating my first Scripps freshly baked cookie, I have decided the rest of my life. For the next four years; undergrad here at Scripps. Then I’ll take my life across the street to Keck Graduate Institute; I can stay there a good long while if I decide to pursue a Ph.D. And then I can become one of those professors who really never left school —all that just for the promise of heavenly cookies every night. The only thing that could make me leave would be my pre-planned retirement in Santa Barbara ;)